God is too good
I also have been struggling with what ministry really is. I have felt guilty about not beating down every door that I walk by and share the Gospel. In Hawaii, I would have the cops called on me and run off if I took this approach. I have been spending a lot of my time settling my family, which also has brought guilt on me. You see, I am guilty but not of avoiding ministry but defining ministry wrongly. I believe one of the measures that Paul tells Timothy about the office of a Pastor is to have his household in order. This means my family is the second level of ministry built on the foundation of Christ. If I don't lead my family, I cannot lead others. I am guilty of segmenting ministry and life. This is horribly wrong but is also the atmosphere that I have grown up in. You had ministry stuff and family stuff and ministry stuff was not to cross over to family stuff or vice versa. This is garbage. My family is my ministry. I am a father before I am a minister of the Gospel. But also, my family is called to this as much as I am which means that God will use our family as a whole to start this church. I refuse to feel guilty about taking care of my family and seeing God use them to draw others into the kingdom.
Which leads me to this thought. I think most of us are guilty of segmenting our Christian lives. We do our Christian things and our family things. We look at ministry as something we do and not something we are. God has called us out of darkness not to put a hat on for a couple of hours a week but to live Christ through everything we are part of. I call this natural Christian living. We should move from ministry and life things being separate to our life being ministry. We should naturally live as Christ's representatives through our family time, our work, our vacation, our friendships and our hobbies. It should be as if we live to minister for Christ and to Christ through all of life's activities. Paul said "to live is Christ", what if that meant more than living through persecution and meant naturally loving people in everyday situations and events. We must quit segmenting our Christian life and our other life. The relationships that we are in are there to love Christ through and to. The job we have is there to love Christ and most of the events God has allowed us to connect with are there to love Christ through and to. Don't live as Christ is only there in church or ministry, live like He is loved through a basketball game or the families connected on a soccer team or through your bike club. When we move to natural Christ living we move to where God wants us, complete intimacy with Him.