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A little update ... a little more waiting, but more of God!

I have sat down in-front of this computer many days and nights ... written blog posts only to delete them the next day. This season of waiting on the Lord to reveal what's next for our family has been (as I wrote in my journal today) heartbreaking, peaceful, painful, wondrous, and helpless. Sermons I have preached on the meaning of faith are being applied to my life currently and I have to admit that it is not always fun to go through those lessons. If you have wondered where I have been and why I haven't been writing, I haven't had the words to say or write ... although I have had an incredible peace in these last months. So here's a little update. Would you pray for us while you read?

     "God wastes nothing", these words have both haunted me and thrilled me in the past days. For the past two months, I have been interviewing for a lead pastor role in another part of the country. Last week I would have told you, we were moving to that city with a churc…

God's grace to me has been my wife!

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My wife is currently asleep next to me as Mother's Day has come and gone. The woman in this picture is incredible. She is the mom to five of our kids, an adopted mother to many of the students we have lead, and the type of woman that I pray my daughters turn out to be. She is God's grace to me.

Years ago, when she and I were dating, we came to a push point in our relationship. Unfortunately for her, I was a self-conscious, jealous, fearful, controlling, and immature man; probably more like a little boy who had to have everyone serve them. My jealousy in our dating days has pushed our relationship to the brink of ending. As we sat in the car and cried, she made a decision not to end it, allowing me to continue being her man. Every day, I am thankful she continued on and pushed through my foolishness. I know I don't deserve her, and yet here I am, married to her for almost 20 years. 21 years ago, I almost forfeited one of the greatest gifts from God, but today I am reminded …

I hate silence, but is that a bad thing?

It has been 2 months since my last writing honoring my son and the man he is becoming. Tons of happened in that time and the Lord Jesus has been incredibly good to us in growing us and challenging sinful patterns in my life and our family's structure. However, He is not talking to me about our future. Thus one of the reasons I have not written in a while ... well that and I have not made time for it because I was angry. I have been acting like a spoiled brat for the months of January and February. I have been angry that God will not open doors I wanted or has given me answers I desire. This has been my plight these last months and what began as an incredibly promising year, has quickly become filled with angst, worry, and anger. Yes, this has been my walk to begin this year and yes, I am admitting to you that I have not walked faithfully trusting the Lord for our future while He has had to drag me through this time. Yes, God has been astonishingly quiet about our future but n…

Today, my son begins his journey of manhood! Happy Birthday Caleb!

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Today is Caleb’s 13th birthday!
13 years ago, I anticipated his arrival with great expectation and desire. As much as I loved our daughter Haleigh, I wanted a son to share my likes and hobbies, to lead and train into a man, and to be a companion one day as he would begin manhood and have a family. In the last 13 years, I have not been disappointed with Caleb for a minute. He is everything I desire to be in a man; calm, caring, gentle, strong willed, steady, loving, and intelligent. In many ways, Caleb is like me and in many other ways he is not. We share a common love for analytical challenges. When he was under a year old, people would think he was mad because he would carry this scowl about him, however it wasn’t his emotion showing but his mental process showing while he attempted to analyze the people interacting with him and the situations he was experiencing. I could see in his eyes then, and still see today, a man engaging the world before speaking, and loving people through ac…

As 2016 wains and 2017 comes, I am thankful for this year

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This morning, my wife thought it would be a great idea to recount and remember the past year of pain, joy, prayers, and how God has answered every challenge with our children tonight. As she and I have taken today to reminisce, God continues to remind me of His faithfulness in our journey with Him. When I resigned last year as the pastor of Faith Community Church Lakeside and then restarted a degree I should have finished 22 years ago, my only hope was God providing and not leaving us to flail about dying from pain brought on by an uncertain future. Even thought today, that future is as uncertain as it was when I resigned, I am more hopeful that God is able to carrying us through and cause us to thrive as he has these last 9 months. With every resume I send to churches I can hear the enemy tell me how unqualified I am and how no church is going to hire someone not currently at another church. I am met with doubts and tempted to give up the idea of ministry. However, I cannot, an…

I'm done with school (for now) ... what I am learning and what God has done!

First, I am incredibly grateful for those who have been praying for my family and I, as I finished something that should have been done 22 years ago. Yes, 22 years in the making and I can finally say that I am a college graduate. I completed 14 classes in 8 months and I am exhausted. I finished with a 3.62 GPA and will have made the Dean's List twice (I would have made it three times but they didn't count the fist term back because I wasn't full time at that moment, but who is bitter?). Okay, I think the humble brag is done ... did I tell you I finished with a 3.62 GPA after starting with a 3.5 GPA in March?

     I cannot take credit for one ounce of what has happened the last 8 months. It has been God's Grace that has kept me from giving up when times were hard or money was scarce. It has been His strength that got me alone three-four days a week to read and write. I didn't think I was going to make  that last week with three of my harder classes requiring an…

Today, I am a little more concerned for my nation and EVERYONE in it.

Last night, like many of you, I stayed up into the late hours of the morning to watch the election results with a curious anticipation of what might be next. When I finally went to bed at 3:30 A.M., I wondered what a Trump presidency would mean to the church. However, it is the rest of the country that I woke up with on my mind. Like many of us also, we are becoming more and more aware that Christianity is not the norm. I believe too many of us believe that the results were a collective, "We are a Christian nation again" to the rest of the world. I worry about many of us thinking this will fix the decisive division within our country, remove the rejection of God's moral standards (which is Himself, in case you didn't know it), and make America great again. I worry because we have tried this before and the rate of those rejecting Christ continues to increase. I worry because more and more of our students are leaving the church and will continue to as long as we a…