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Showing posts from March, 2016

My journal entry this morning! Swimming in Grace!

     “When darkness seems to hide His face, I rest on His unchanging Grace”. How incredible it has been to not experience darkness in 2 months. The joy of being in daily light has rested my soul. Even though battles rage daily for my heart to turn to, I am finding God’s incredible joy through this part of my journey. For the past 31 years, I believe I have been depressed in some way or another. Recently, my doctor shared that I had suffered PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) from the abuses I suffered during my childhood. Although I would never compare my experiences to those brave men and women who serve our country in the military, police, firefighters and first responders; I have had many traumatic experiences in my past. What I have learned is those experiences had shaped my journey and I suffered many of them over and over. Its funny (strange) to think I walked in depression during my adult years, years of ministry, marriage and fatherhood have been in the midst of darkness. H

Parents, STOP letting your kids compare you to other parents!

    Okay, the title is a little harsh but I needed to call us to something that I believe is killing us as parents. We are allowing our children to dictate how we see ourselves and it needs to stop, NOW! I hear parents struggling with being compared to other parent. I watch parents killing themselves as they attempt to provide their children with everything other kids have. We are overrun with debt and lack sleep trying to be a better parent by buying more or supplying more. Why are we killing ourselves? Why are we attempting to be something that we are not nor have been given? THE PROBLEM     My wife often shares with me pictures from her Instagram account. There are some incredibly talented people out there with some great ideas. However, my wife and I have learned to become realist, which means we have realized we don't have the talent of many on Pinterest or Instagram. I am creative, but most of that time my creativeness ends with paper and pen or my vocal chords. I am grow

The future for us is both scary and hopeful, but God is faithful!

It is has been a sweet few days since I announced my resignation at Faith. Many of you and others have been incredibly kind and gracious. I have been grateful to the encouragement many have given us. I am amazed how much God has done through us in these 16 months. He brought us here to heal but also to engage others with the Gospel and see many trust Him more. I am overwhelmed at God's great Grace in the past year. In some of my conversations with people, I hear a little worry. Some have shared their concern with how much we are healed and others with how we are going to make it after our time at Faith is done. It truly is scary and hopeful time for us, there are so many unknown things right now. However, I see that there have always been unknown things for us. Even with being in every church we have served in, our security and future were never held in human hands. I remember when Michelle and I were praying through moving to Hawaii. That was scary and overwhelming. It was a t

Today is a new day and a new part of our journey. So what's next?

Well, if you haven't heard or read by now, let me share with you what has transpired. Yesterday I turned in my resignation to Faith Lakeside as their Senior Pastor. It was hard to see so many people hurting and shocked by the announcement. Michelle and I feel incredibly blessed to have served here these last 16 months and are very hopeful for the future of the church. We believe that the 2 men that are leading through this transitions are leading by attaching themselves to Jesus. Please pray for Todd Vaughn and Don Davis (our Elders) as they lead the church through these next months and find the direction God is taking them. They have been great friends to our family and are leading by abiding. Pray for them please. One of the things that people are going to ask is why now? There are going to be a lot of questions about the time of depression I went through, some of the conflicts we had, the number of new families we experienced joining us and why would God move us on since we ar

7 reasons I am thankful for the season of despair I have experienced!

As some of you read from me recently, I have finally admitted my struggle with depression and the fight to control it that God is saving me from. Though I would never wish what I have gone through on anyone else, I can honestly say today that I am thankful for it. It is a funny and strange thing for me to say sometimes, but I would not change my past of being abandoned, rejected, abused and hurt. Although I would fight for these things never to happen to anyone else, there is a peace I have about the life's journey God has had me on. There are so many things I would not know if I were not taken down the road God has walked me through. There are many people that I would not enjoy being part of their healing if God had not allowed affliction in my life. Though I might not want to experience the pain again, I am thankful that God is using those pains in my life and overflowing Himself to others. Charles Spurgeon struggled with depression for most of his life as a pastor, father and hu

I should not attempt to walk in Christ apart from "It is Finished"

So I am probably going to get in trouble with this post, not because of the content of it but for this next statement. I have wanted a tattoo, but not for the sake of getting a tattoo. I want two greek words marked on my arms so every time I look down, have my head in my hands or look in the mirror I will see " tetelestai " on my right arm and " meno " on my left. I know I have a few friends who are reading this who would try to convince me to get them and may even pay for them. I also know I have other friends who do not believe in getting tattoos and might get offended. Don't worry, I hate needles and fear them more than snakes. So maybe I will just use permanent ink? Any artist want to use a sharpie on my arms? Okay the real reason I am writing this post, those two words are rocking my world. Last year, Michelle and I were in Nashville where we purchased a shirt and 2 wristbands with the word " tetelestai " on it. I had just finished a series of