The future for us is both scary and hopeful, but God is faithful!
In some of my conversations with people, I hear a little worry. Some have shared their concern with how much we are healed and others with how we are going to make it after our time at Faith is done. It truly is scary and hopeful time for us, there are so many unknown things right now.
However, I see that there have always been unknown things for us. Even with being in every church we have served in, our security and future were never held in human hands. I remember when Michelle and I were praying through moving to Hawaii. That was scary and overwhelming. It was a time that we thought we had to trust God for more than what we had to trust Him for in Ohio. However, God reminded us constantly that my paycheck, health, family and needs were always met by Him. He had used what we perceived as a steadier source. I see how easy it is for me to think I am secure because I hold a staff position at a church or have a job I love. I have often forgotten that God is the One providing and my days in those jobs were never guaranteed. He has always provided, whether that was as a youth pastor in Ohio or Tennessee, or a church planter in Hawaii. I failed to see that just because our family was relying on people to join us as financial partners, God really was the One providing. It was always God and will always be God. If or when God leads us to serve in another church as a staff member, our provision is from Him. Please know that I don't write this flippantly. There is a lot of wonder in my heart right now. I really don't know where God is going to take us, but I do know He is working in and around us.
What about the dark times I suffered? Well, those have lifted and now we are dealing with their sources. Every time we work through some of my past traumas, I see how much I have been affected by them. I also see the source of my struggles apart from my personal sin. This season of life has set free much of what I was carrying for too many years. There is so much hope among the fear. I see how much God has done with us even in my darkest moments. I see that my fear's source is a result of my desire to control my circumstances and protect our family. However, God has given us so much more than I could ever imagined. Even in these last days, God has shown off His incredible power in love. There is a great peace that Michelle and I are walking in and we know it is the presence of our Daddy in heaven.
So what's next? I don't know, but God has His journey for us. So we will do what we have been calling others to do these past years; abide and walk in Christ out of the life that God has given us. I know God is doing some cool things in me and that He has our life's journey planned; I just have to walk in and with Him. I am becoming more satisfied with just walking with Him, not knowing what He is going to do and not needing to know. The future for us is both scary and hopeful, but God is faithful, and He will be worshipped with our story!