Marinate ... not Microwave

I know you are wondering why I titled this Marinate ... not Microwave. For the past three weeks this is what I am hearing in my soul. God is doing some incredible surgery on my heart and is revealing the selfishness I have lived in for so many years. I do love to see the Lord work, I just want Him to do it now! That is the issue of sin that is being removed out of my life. At our Launch Network assessment, we were told to enjoy the journey. Well, anyone that knows me knows that I hate driving, I would rather have a machine that zaps me to the place of destination. Time Machines need to hurry up and get here ...  sorry, just my microwave heart showing up. The only thing I marinate is a steak and most of the time I have the heat too high to cook it so that the best flavor comes out. If I could, I would microwave that sucker. However, this is not the journey that God has me on. I have been reminded that I cannot take anyone where I have not been as their pastor. So the Lord's process is not mine, but isn't that scriptural (Isaiah 55:8-9). So pray that I will enjoy the journey and learn more about Him during this time of walking with Him.

Number two thing I am learning. I am self reliant in ministry. There are a lot of things that I have done in my strength and understanding for a long time. This is very unsettling for me and depresses me a lot. Before our softball games, 3 guys and I are studying the book "Experiencing God" together. I feel like chapters 1-6 have been my life, but then chapters 7-8 showed up. God has used this book to reveal the self-reliant issues I have. Everything in my life is out of my control right now but that does not keep me from trying to control them. Without God doing some really cool things we are not going to Hawaii anytime soon. Here is a list of things I cannot control:

- My house selling
- Urbancrest allowing me to stay on staff (finances a tight right now)
- Our funding both monthly and initially
- Core team members for the church plant
- When we get to leave for Hawaii
- Partnerships for this ministry
- Where God takes us during this journey

Okay, I know that many of you might be thinking that these are some big items but they should not affect me too much. Well in the words of my friend Bucky Allen "I am in a place of high RISK!" Everything is at risk in my life right now. The Lord has shown me the worthlessness of the things that I once thought I was in control of. While teaching Sunday Morning, the Lord spoke Psalm 73:25 into my heart - "whom do I have in heaven but You oh Lord, the earth has nothing that I desire." Well apparently, the earth has had much that I desire and through the "Experiencing God" study, the Lord has been kind to show me these things. So there is a lot of surgery going on in my life right now and I am thankful for it.

Finally, the Lord is doing some awesome things around us: two members of our church finished painting and repairing our basement, we sold my car, we have funding for one of the two plane tickets we need for Sept. 14th and our house is on the market while finishing repairs and painting. God has also drawn me close to Him and has revealed my desperation for Him. He is becoming the only thing I can truly rely on. Thanks for praying for us and please remember to pray for the nations that they would turn their lives to Jesus!

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