God knows what I need when I need it (if I could remember this I would be better off)
This morning I woke up a little later than normal (due to some cute little 2 year old and his desire to play at 2 am in my bed). As I struggled to get out of bed this morning I had a great sense to meet God in my closet (where I do my time with our Lord most mornings). Most mornings I will head downstairs, get a quick bite to eat and then head to my closet to try and wake up before I meet with My Daddy in heaven. As I laid there this morning, struggling with words and wandering thoughts, I asked My Daddy if I could even call Him that this morning. I have not felt so lost in my thoughts as I have felt these last few months. I have been struggling with worth, trust, and everything else that messes with me. All I could say to Him this morning was "can I still call you Daddy?" It was a haunting question that was from deep within me. It is a disturbing thought in the midst of walking with Him. So many times these past months my mind has been bombarded with doubt, struggle and shame. I have fought and fought many of these thoughts but they kept coming. So this morning, all with pain from within, I asked God for the right to call Him Daddy. Can I tell you how GOOD our GOD is?
As I had some errands this morning to run, I received an email that gave us some troubling news (which we will share when I can) and it is a situation that will have some challenges. However, as I went to throw my hands up in the air in disgust, my hands didn't go up and peace was there. As I drove around thinking how we could overcome this hardship, peace was there. I decided not to go to the Starbucks I normally go to and peace was there. There God also decided to meet me through a man named Chet. I had met Chet before and have had some wonderings about his theology but today peace was there. Chet, while encouraging another brother in Christ and not remembering me, leaned over to me and asked if he could pray for me. He said he sensed a great struggle and starting sharing what he thought our Lord through His Spirit wanted Chet to say to me. This is what Chet said:
"Do you know that your Daddy loves you and you will never lose the right to call Him Daddy!"
Enough said and praise be to God!