I need your prayers! Especially when I cannot make a decision I need to make!


     In my life with Jesus, there are times where I am asked to make decisions that I don't understand fully. Times of great turmoil in my heart take place while I wrestle over what is the Lord's will; wondering if my flesh is getting in the way or that Satan is placing desiring around me that tickles my flesh to accept what might be good but not what Jesus is leading us too. Two years ago, I felt the anguish of making a decision, with a magnitude of affects on my family, as we decided to come back to Ohio instead of heading to Memphis in waiting on the Lord. Years before that, I struggled with leading my family to become disciple makers through church planting in Hawaii ... leaving our beloved church and an extraordinary ministry. I have fought myself in these kinds of decisions, knowing my family would be at a crossroad, which could coarse shift us for God's glory or fleshly sinfulness. I have lost sleep over what bills to pay, how to go about confronting someone over their sin, whether to move a ministry in a direction that could hurt, and many more, which had locked me up. Tonight, I am in one of those decisions ... and I need your prayers.

     For the last two years, we have lived in a blessing called the Monroe house. We have lived under a roof that was not ours, nor did we have to pay for the first year we lived in it. Although it has been small for our family; it has been a place of refuge, peace and healing; as we have come back to Ohio and God has reignited the fire to give the Gospel to both the churched and non-churched. We have enjoyed new relationships, new adventures and new milestones as a family. We are incredibly thankful for what God has done through the gift of this house and its owner. However, we knew that there was a day soon coming that we would have to move. That day is near ... and I feel the pressure. Not from the owner, but that our family needs a new environment to live in, to love in, to invite friends over to, to do small groups, to laugh in, to spread out in, and to disciple people to love Jesus. We need more space and the owner needs his house back. But this is not the struggle tonight.

     We are in the middle of house hunting. In the past 2 months, I have looked at too many house only to put offers on two. One, we were outbid and the other we are in the middle of waiting on what one of my friends said is only a 10% chance of happening. Although our hearts want to wait, we know that we need to continue looking for a home. We did tonight and found a house that would fit us well but in which I am not convinced is the home we need to make an offer. There is turmoil in my heart ... why? Because I feel rushed to put an offer on a house that is a great deal. It fits our budget, it is in an area that we have friends, it has a huge backyard, and it has a pool (in the neighborhood). However, my heart longs for the house we put a bid on and are waiting. I can see that house as a Gospel launching center. I didn't have that type of vision for the house we walked through tonight, although the house is bigger and priced less than the house we are waiting on. I feel rushed and worried ... which is not the voice of God. 

     The picture above is a tool given to us by some great mentors. This tool has been valuable numerous times in our decision making. We have used this tool to walk with God and trust that His is able to clean up our messes when we believe we are making the decision in faith and in Him. I am glad I have this tool ... it has allowed me to postpone putting an offer in until tomorrow ... in this super hot house market (houses that we have liked lasted 36 hours on the market, this one has only been on for 12) ...or not to put an offer and see what else the Lord might do. There is a part of me that doesn't believe this is God's best ... there is another part of me that thinks my flesh is having its way in making us wait for something that the Lord is not in. 

     So, I need you to pray and pray specifically. Our family is praying for a vision for the house we looked at this evening. We are praying for wisdom on moving forward or not, and what offer we should put in. We are praying for peace to walk in that wisdom. Please pray most of all that we will walk in faith, in joy and knowing God more through this. I know this decision is not earth shattering, but it is important to my family and we are waiting with baited breathe on the Lord! PRAY FRIENDS PRAY!

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